but i am good at being uncomfortable so i can't stop changing all the time.

I swear to God these aren't spoilers and I'm not cutting them:

Look At All These Weddings on Doctor Who, says the Sun, while hiding their Mad Libs books.

Dude, no, really. I think they just filled in names and places on a Mad Libs sheet- LOOK at it.

Meanwhile, __character #1__ - her replacement as __job__- will tie the knot with ___character #2__.

__actor#1__ will also make a special guest appearance in the __network #1__ spin-off __show #1___ for the wedding of his former companion ___character #3__.

Executive producer Russell T Davies said: "Viewers thought they may have to wait until __month__ for the next full episode of __show #2__ - but this is an extra special treat."

So the Sun article: 

Meanwhile, Martha Jones (Freema Agyeman) - her replacement as assistant - will tie the knot with Mickey Smith (Noel Clarke).

Tennant will also make a special guest appearance in the CBBC spin-off The Sarah Jane Adventures for the wedding of his former companion Sarah Jane Smith (Elisabeth Sladen).

Executive producer Russell T Davies said: "Viewers thought they may have to wait until November for the next full episode of Doctor Who - but this is an extra special treat."

And perhaps the other Sun reporter's article that didn't make it, or perhaps mine, because the Sun doesn't pay me:
 

Meanwhile, Reinette - her replacement as theoretical astrophysics professor- will tie the knot with River Song.

Anthony Stewart Head will also make a special guest appearance in the BBC Parliament spin-off Bizarre Animal ER for the wedding of his former companion Sylvia Noble.

Executive producer Russell T Davies said: "Viewers thought they may have to wait until October 14th-oh wait I never tell the date until the night before, shitshitshit, for the next full episode of EastEnders- but this is an extra special treat."

Everyone should now go forth and make their own versions of this madlibbed article.

I don't even know. I predict Donna is going to marry Sarah Jane and Jack will wet his pants and then marry everyone on the show ever. Look, guys: Saturn has cool rings. Let's wrangle a TARDIS and go look.