get me god on the line, boys, and make that call collect.

[intrikate88]

Because I was bored and not focusing on editing the True Blood article like I should have been today, I spammed andi_horton with crack!fic first lines that I'll never write.

• "The worst part about regeneration, the Doctor decided right then, was that if he did die while being passed out the large intestine of this Giant Venusian Mammoth, Donna would never, ever, ever let him hear the end of it."

• "The first sign that something was wrong with the TARDIS was the sudden and terrible lack of hot water in Rose's shower. Her resulting scream, which was a sound usually guaranteed to bring the Doctor running, did not, so she screamed again. And then she wrapped her hair in a towel, tied on her dressing gown, and went to investigate the console room."

• "When Katie and Sark accidentally stole the TARDIS, they originally had no intent to become intergalactic con artists. Well, she hadn't, anyway. What Sark had intended in locking them in a dimensionally improbable phone box was anyone's guess."

• "While Rose knew in theory that the metacrisis had meant that the Doctor who had followed her home like an abandoned puppy was also half Donna, she was unprepared to discover that, as a result, her husband also seemed to be a bisexual transvestite and slightly schizophrenic. While this didn't make as much of a difference in his personality and behavior as might be expected, it was slightly unsettling when she found him in the dressing room at H&M, wearing a wrap dress and scowling at his complete lack of curves."

• "The Doctor knew about literature and he knew about pocket dimensions, but somehow it wouldn't have automatically occurred to him that, in her post-metacrisis post-amnesia state, Donna might take a vacation in a Wordsworth poem. Yet there she was, wandering lonely as a cloud. There were a truly frightening number of daffodils, too."

• "Many people have gone over Niagara Falls in barrels. However, just because one or two people can fit inside a small wooden structure and tumble over the falls and maybe possibly not die doesn't mean they should, and Rose informs the Doctor of this, wringing out her shirt and pouring riverwater out of the teapot she had previously left on the next to the time rotor on the console."

YEAH I DON'T EVEN KNOW

Comments

[goldy-dollar.livejournal.com]

The first sign that something was wrong with the TARDIS was the sudden and terrible lack of hot water in Rose's shower. Her resulting scream, which was a sound usually guaranteed to bring the Doctor running, did not, so she screamed again. And then she wrapped her hair in a towel, tied on her dressing gown, and went to investigate the console room.

BWAH! I hate reading sentences like this because then it's like... WHERE IS THE REST OF THE FIC D: D:

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

Ack I am just so bad at fulfilling even my own expectations that I cannot bear to promise anything. Especially with the 329,809,342 works in progress that I have going right now that will probably never ever be finished since I write two sentences while at work and on hold and that is my fic progress for the day. I don't know, maybe I will write ficlets. You will see if I write ficlets. *starts scribbling ANOTHER NEW FIC INSTEAD OF FINISHING A DAMN THING*

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

Ack I am just so bad at fulfilling even my own expectations that I cannot bear to promise anything. Especially with the 329,809,342 works in progress that I have going right now that will probably never ever be finished since I write two sentences while at work and on hold and that is my fic progress for the day. I don't know, maybe I will write ficlets. You will see if I write ficlets. *starts scribbling ANOTHER NEW FIC INSTEAD OF FINISHING A DAMN THING*

[misaditas.livejournal.com]

OFFICER CRAIS DEMANDS YOU WRITE #4

That is all

[shinyopals.livejournal.com]

I CONCUR WITH THIS SENTIMENT.

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

IT IS ALMOST TOO GOOD TO IGNORE, I WILL TRY TO DO AT LEAST A LITTLE FIC EEEEEK.

[misura.livejournal.com]

These are entirely too shiny not to be written!

Pretty please? Just one or two?

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

Maybe itty bitty ones! I am bad at finishing things that I start. *despair*

[rthstewart.livejournal.com]

Complete lack of curves... snort. so funny

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

"I know I was trying to do SOMETHING about my arse, but Rose, this is ridiculous! How has he ever kept trousers on?"

[fiction-junkie.livejournal.com]

Ok, the one about Katie and Sark NEEDS to be written :P

0oh ooh and I will pay you money (let's say a whole dollar) to write a scene for the last one!

Mostly these made me laugh really hard, which I needed after the day I had at work. Who knew bookstores at Christmas would be so crazy? lol.

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

WHAT YOU GOT HIRED I DID NOT KNOW THAT AND WHEN/WHERE CAN I COME BOTHER YOU AT WORK.

Okay, I have theoretically given in to peer pressure and am going to attempt to write little fics to go with these. I have so, so much fic to write. I wish my life was organized.

Ok, the one about Katie and Sark NEEDS to be written

Have I ever sent you some of the stuff about him and me? If not, I should. andi_horton and I have been developing the massive fictional universe for a number of years, and then... other massive fictional universes... and my favorite one right now with us is the Thirties!verse where we are private detectives. So yes. Stealing a TARDIS is pretty much something we would do, and that's the way it would happen, too. :P

[fiction-junkie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this was my first week at the Books-A-Million in Canton. I'm back doing the Barrista thing, but at least its a paycheck!

And you definately never even mentioned you and Sark had a thing! Shame on you! Gimme fic now! How dare you hold out on me :P

[cool-tre-cool.livejournal.com]

I LOVE THEM ALL OMG WRITE THEM. I mean, I know you won't, it's in the title, but I loves them all so you must. :D

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

YOUR CUTE ICON ♥

I started new documents for each line in my google docs. So if there is any way for them to be the object of motivation... they are there. I'm going to try to write little fics; I would have started last night IF MY STUPID COMPUTER HADN'T DIED. >:(

[cool-tre-cool.livejournal.com]

OMG YOURS TOO <3

Also, I hope the computer thing isn't permanent :(

[yavie-namarie.livejournal.com]

You know, I think the Doctor's post-meta-crisis problem may be multiple personality disorder, not schizophrenia...

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

Yes, although when I thought of that line I imagined him hearing Donna's voice in his head, perhaps hallucinating her in the mirror in the dressing room. But D.I.D. may be more likely in general for his condition. (I mean, I love how everyone is all fluffy about Doctor and Rose together forever yayz! but at the same time, c'mon, he's HALF DONNA and Donna is a very forceful personality and there is no way hijinks do not ensue from that.)

[yavie-namarie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure whatever happens in regards to the half-Donna bit, the results will be abso-frickin-lutely hilarious... =D

[ninamazing.livejournal.com]

I LOVE CRACK!FIC FIRST SENTENCES. LOVE. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

And because it randomly reminded me: You've read Wonderfalls, right? :)

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

You mean watched? Yes, although I may not have seen all the episodes, I sort of lost track about the point at which it was cancelled but I have the whole thing downloaded. Or are you talking about reading something else?

I LOVE CRACK!FIC FIRST SENTENCES. LOVE.

I think that at least on some of these, whatever you can imagine coming after them is loads better than I could ever write. :P