Fic: Healing Old Wounds (Doctor Who)

[intrikate88]

Title: Healing Old Wounds
Author: intrikate88
Disclaimer: Doctor Who = BBC =/= intrikate88.
Characters: Doctor, Rose, Martha
Rating: PG (one bad word)
Word Count: 901
Summary: When the Doctor chooses his companions, it's not just about offering them a chance to live a better life but to show grace to their old choices, as well.

“You could come with me,” he tells her. “You could stay here and fill your life with work and food and sleep, or you could go, uh... anywhere.”

 

But she can’t, can she? Because going anywhere isn’t for girls like her. Hell, half the girls she knows are already having babies, most of the other half that stayed in school, in the words of her former classmate Lauren Cooper, “ain’t even bovvered.” She doesn’t know what she’d do with a life like the Doctor’s- what is life, if not filled with work and food and sleep?

 

“Is it always this dangerous?” Would that be what life is, outside of what she’s used to? Always running, all that running? Would she always be holding his hand? Would that be such a bad thing?

 

He grins. “Oh, yeah.”

 

Well, that decides it. She wants to grin, wants to go, but she can’t. It’s not wise, her mum would disapprove, and Mickey- he could not handle it. He was clinging to her leg, she could tell he hadn’t even heard.

 

“Yeah, I can't... I've um... gotta go and find my mum and um... someone's gotta look after this stupid lump... so…” She trails off, helplessly, wishing that somehow she could find a good enough reason that would overshadow the staying power of an ordinary life. But just going anywhere isn’t enough- she could travel and have her family, since she knew her mum and Mickey are planning to surprise her on her birthday with tickets for a holiday in Majorca. It’s not much, but it’s still something, and so she just looks on as the Doctor tells her he’ll see her around. (Though she doubts that’s true.)

 

The blue box fades away, grating on the tiny bones of Rose’s ear; it is in tune with the scraping sensation of tears and a closing throat. Mickey weighs heavily on her; she is nearly buckling under the weight of him.

 

She knows this feeling; it claws its way out of her chest every morning at the realization that there is nothing for her but a shop counter, maybe a flat with Mickey someday. There is the waiting for her mind to close smaller and smaller until perhaps she finds herself happy with chips and whatever’s on the telly, because that’s what every one else she knows who left school without A-levels has; and she wonders if they, too, try not to cry as they realize they might have fucked up the best chance they ever had to go somewhere. (The Doctor- he offered her the chance to go somewhere.) And who does it twice?

 

When he returns to tell her he can travel in time, too, he doesn’t know he has just traveled back to pour grace on old wounds.

 

* * *

 

Martha’s quite good at listening to her mother. (To everyone, really.) Martha’s mother knows this, and accordingly takes full credit for Martha being accepted into the medical program early, for being so advanced. (“Having trouble locating the heart, Miss Jones?”) She also remarks with relief how glad she was that she stopped Martha from going into literature studies as early as she did- “Not that there’s anything wrong with reading, Martha! But what would you ever do with that, where would you go? A high school, teaching snotty brats A Summer Daydream?”

 

(It took Martha a bemused moment to respond, “I think you’ll find it’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Mum.” But she set down the book and went back to her anatomy and physiology textbook anyway, because the divorce was taking a rough toll her mother, and Dad’s latest girlfriend wasn’t helping, so Martha didn’t want to upset her mother anymore.

 

“Oh, and Martha, I do hope you won’t go out with friends tonight. You need to study.”

 

“Yes, Mum.”)

 

Martha does what she’s told, because whenever she swans off to what perhaps might resemble a social life, there is Mum, reminding her of her future and her past and the list of things she needs Martha to do today. Martha doesn’t date, at least not very often. After all, her mum married and had children before she could finish university. “Biggest mistake of my life, wasting my time with your dad. But look how well I’m doing now. Martha, if you would only try a little harder…”

 

Sometimes Martha wonders if her mother considers her a mistake, but she knows to stop wondering that before she sees how that explains why her mother keeps trying to make her better.

 

There is no time to breathe, not in Martha’s life. But there is time to sneak off to the sixteenth century, in between one second and the next.

 

Then the Doctor offers Martha the chance to sneak away again.

 

Martha Jones has faced down hideous and angry monsters and even more hideous and angrier patients. It’s time to face down her mother, so she tells him she will not sneak away, but walk with him, tall and proud: as a woman and not her mother’s daughter.

 

It’s almost as if he knows this when he says, “You were always more than just a guest, Martha.”

 

* * *

 

Once the Doctor said, “No second chances,” and saved the world with a satsuma. But he lied: he gives second chances. Because the first chance only repairs the present.

 

But the past needs healing too.

Comments

[andi-horton.livejournal.com]

Liking the new look, loving the fic. I can't watch that first ep now without sniffling when she goes flying down to run into the TARDIS, it's just . . . it's heartbreaking, when you know how how it ends.

But yes. Love the fic, as usual :P

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

Gah, yes. It's agonizing to know the end, and the poor characters are just so clueless... anyway. Thank you, glad you loved it.

[sandstar08.livejournal.com]

never realized how parallel their experiences with the Doctor are... never realized the potential for how similar their personalities are either... thank you for doing what fic is supposed to: open up your mind to possibilities

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I figure that if either of them were completely living a fabulous life, better than they had dreamed of, they wouldn't have gone with the Doctor. Rose's life is simple enough to understand, but Martha intrigues me a great deal. She's smart, she's a medical student, she has a close family and she's fairly high-class, but yet, you still get this sense that not everything is right: there are too many demands on her, and for someone trying to be a doctor, she doesn't really act like it all that much. So I'm curious to see how she goes, and I wanted to explore that a bit.
Thank you for commenting!

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Martha doesn't look like she gets much of a chance to do anything. I wonder how she'll incorporate her travels with her real life? We'll just have to wait and see.
Thank you for such nice remarks!

[honorh.livejournal.com]

Lovely, the idea that for all the Doctor claims he doesn't give second chances, that's exactly what Rose and Martha got, thanks to him. They're such different women, but it's nice to reflect how they might be similar, too. Wonderful!

BTW, kudos for the Catherine Tate ref!

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

HAH, internet brownies to you for being the first to catch the Catherine Tate allusion. I thought Lauren Cooper was probably the sort of girl Rose was in school with.
Thank you for commenting!

[kiaforrest.livejournal.com]

I caught my breath reading this!
You treat everyone so tenderly while holding the mirror steady.

Especially liked the contrasting link of this There is the waiting for her mind to close smaller and smaller until perhaps she finds herself happy with chips and whatever’s on the telly with this There is no time to breathe, not in Martha’s life. But there is time to sneak off to the sixteenth century, in between one second and the next.

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

You treat everyone so tenderly while holding the mirror steady.
You treat everyone so tenderly while holding the mirror steady.

Wow, thank you so much! That's a fabulous compliment, and I'm really flattered.
And I hadn't actually connected those two lines or even that concept at all but you've totally caught something neat- both Rose and Martha are suffocating in their lives, and they need freedom.

[starlightmoonla.livejournal.com]

This is a wonderful fic! I must agree that I loved the way that you handled both Rose and Martha characters. It's amazing how although both characters are different they possess very similar personalities. You managed to convey their "claustrophobic" lives and that need for escape very well in both cases.

Thanks for this wonderful story!

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

And thank you for such wonderful compliments!

Help

[eryaforsthye.livejournal.com]

Er, hello!

I'm afraid this is going to sound a little strange, but I can't read your fic - the font/colour just isn't showing on my screen.
Which is a pity because I really would like to read it. :)

Is there anything I can do to read it?

Sorry,

Erya.

Re: Help

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

That's weird about the colour- I'm going to be changing my layout as soon as I get a couple free hours to mess with it, so that will help. However, I know there's some sort of ending you can put on journal entries that is something like 'style=mine' that will change the appearance to your own journal style. However, I just tried that with your journal and I couldn't find a workable ending. So if you see that and figure out the correct way when you look at other people's entries, try it out.
Otherwise, leave me your email and I'll just attach the .doc of this with a reply, no problem. I'm happy you want to read it!